Why Does Relationship Conflict Lead to Growth?

Exploring Triggers, Marriage, Relationships
March 1, 2021

The Authentic Wife and Mom

Beth Rowles | The Conscious Marriage Coach

Conflict with others is an opportunity for us to grow as a person, grow in self-awareness, and grow our most valuable skills.

Before I started doing this work in Conscious Parenting and the work that led to saving my marriage, I used to view conflict just as something to add to a growing cons list about the other person. I took those issues and collected them to be able to make a decision about whether I wanted to leave the relationship or not. Often, I did, or they did, and I just moved on. Even though I was introspective, I just wasn’t aware of what I wasn’t aware of yet. I didn’t know how to view the situation from their perspective (empathy) and I didn’t know why I was continually in these same scenarios with other people (patterns).

Most often, my lack of boundaries was reflected in a general dissolution of the relationship so I didn’t know what to do with those. I just always assumed I wasn’t enough — not skinny enough, pretty enough, or smart enough for the other person. But the only direct feedback I often got was more along the lines of “being on a high horse” or being condescending. That could have alerted me to my lack of empathy (though I was an empath, having real empathy is a different skill), had I known how to deconstruct the pattern and my role in the relationship.

Using conflict to help us see a reflection of ourselves the same way I used collected data about our cell phone network to improve it helps us heal, change our limiting beliefs, feel repressed emotions, and gain new skills like:

  • Active listening
  • Empathy
  • Emotional regulation
  • Pin Why Does Relationship Conflict Lead to GrowthCommunicating with empathy
  • Using our energy wisely
  • Mindfulness
  • Consciousness
  • Self-expression

It can:

  • Point us back toward what we need to heal
  • Alert us to thoughts that aren’t serving us
  • Alert us to where we’ve handed over our power instead of being responsible for our role in the relationship and our boundaries and authentic choices
  • Be the trigger that finally gets us to release and feel emotions

This is why I help conscious moms use their relationship as a feedback loop to grow in more self-awareness and create the relationship they want without leaving the one they’re in.

I’d love to chat with you — visit my Coaching page to learn more or book a call.


Read more about Conscious Marriage here.


Beth Rowles
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I'm Beth Rowles, Hi!

I help driven moms use the conflict in their marriage as a feedback loop to grow in self-awareness so they can create the marriage they, and their kids, deserve without leaving the one they're in or waiting for their husband to evolve.

I'm the author of The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage and host of The Authentic Wife Show podcast & YouTube channel.


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"Your partner is ultimately a mirror of how you feel about yourself, and your relationship will call on you to get into integrity with earlier wounds and negative life patterns."

--Dr. Laura Berman, Quantum Love

Love Queen, Enneagram 5, Child Prioritizer, Problem Solver, Book Lover, Authenticity Expert, And Your Marriage Saver

I’m Beth.
Your Authenticity
[to keep it a Family] Coach.

You and your kids deserve a marriage that brings your light to life. That may seem far away right now, but I’m proof that it’s possible and in your power to create! Stop worrying about what your kids are learning from him and let’s figure out what they can learn from you, mama!