What Kind of Partnership Do We Have and How Will it Affect Our Kids?

Ahoy, matey! You and your spouse have just given Jack Sparrow the boot and boarded his pirate ship. You're ready to sail the high seas to the perfect island adventure, where you'll both find your treasure chest full of gold.

Oh no! This voyage isn't free of challenges. Answer the following questions, considering how you and your spouse are likely to react as each challenge pops up.

1. You've both boarded the boat and pulled the anchor. As you drift off to sea, you realize that neither of you has a clue how to really sail a ship. What is most likely to happen?

We calmly talk to each other, brainstorming solutions.

One of us is calm, but the other one is freaking out.

"It's all your fault we're on this ship!" "Well if you ever did anything around here you'd have learned how to sail a boat first!" "When do I have time with all of these responsibilities??"

It doesn’t matter yet. With treasure on our minds, we make passionate love.

Question 1 of 8

2. You've managed to get out to sea, when you realize that someone's going to have to cook some food and take care of the equipment. What's most likely to happen?

We both talk about what we'd like to do and then divvy up the tasks.

One of us starts having a panic attack. We're going to die! Then they start barking orders about exactly how everything should be done.

"I don't cook! You want Taco Bell, I'm your guy! You have to cook!" "Well that's great, I'll just cook, and check the sail, and coil the rope, and swab the deck… jerk!"

Of course I’ll cook, he would probably throw me overboard if I didn’t and he’s scary when he’s hungry.

Question 2 of 8

3. Land ahoy! You spot the island just as you were about to give up hope. But when you get out the map, what is most likely to happen?

No problem! We've already been discussing the map and know exactly how to navigate the jungle and have also packed enough provisions to reach the cave.

I've made a detailed plan but he stands there yelling about everything that could go wrong. I'll just have to do it myself, as usual!

"NO! The map is clearly showing those rocks over there. You're not listening to me!" "I SAID the same thing you just said, but that's a coffee stain, not an X! YOU'RE not listening to ME!"

Land? What land? He/she locked me in the hold. But I know everything will be fine once he gets his treasure.

Question 3 of 8

4. You've found the treasure!!! You can't believe how many gold coins are spread out all over the cave floor. You both are so excited and overjoyed and suddenly the mood hits one of you. What is most likely to happen?

We make love and then make plans to help ourselves and others for hours, which we both enjoy even more than the gold.

One of us acquiesces just to make the other one happy, but the whole time thinks about all of the bills that treasure will have to pay when we get home.

"Get off me! Not tonight!" "If you don't pet the dog, he won't stay on the porch!" “Go ahead! I can’t stand you!”

We make passionate love, but then I accidentally drop a gold bar in the ocean. He (or she) screams at me then storms off, leaving me alone in the cave as he runs off with all of the money, after naming every reason why no one else will ever love me like he (or she) did. By the time I make it out, he’s still there, and really sorry. He promises to never do it again. He needs me.

Question 4 of 8

5. When you step out of the cave into the sunlight, you are greeted by… a band of pirates! They want your treasure, or else! What is most likely to happen?

We empathize with them and talk. Before we know it, two hours have passed and we're all drinking rum on the beach.

He found a gun in the treasure and goes on a rampage while she freezes in fear.

"I KNEW if we wasted time in there this would happen! THANKS A LOT!!" "What are you talking about?! It's your fault that they found us! You're the one that started that stupid fire on the beach!" "Yeah a fire so we could SURVIVE, GENIUS!"

She is relieved and starts flirting with one of the pirates. Anything is better than one more day with him! Captain Crook takes her away to his lavish boat.

Question 5 of 8

You’re living the good life with all of your new financial freedom. What is most likely to happen when it comes to managing your bloated bank account?

We’ve set up investments so we’re set for life. We started a foundation and spend our days on our passion projects and new endeavors, traveling the world at the same time.

One of us starts a business and is trying to pursue their dream, but the other keeps spending it on everything material they want while complaining that the new business isn’t making enough money.

“I can’t go on a vacation now because you spent it ALL on stupid stuff for you!” “Well you didn’t tell me you wanted anything!” “You’ve known me this long, how do you not know what I want?!”

When we have money everything is great. Well, better. At least I think we still have money—I don’t have access to the account.. And whenever they make a mistake they make it up with the sweetest gifts. But there’s non-stop drama in our relationship. I also think they’re cheating.

Question 6 of 8

7. Now that you’re rich, you notice a new, very attractive girl (or guy, if you're the husband) showing up in your spouse’s life. What are you likely to do?

He’s too busy making plans with me to even notice her, but if they really connected someday, I would be able to process letting him go so he could be happy. He would do the same for me.

He keeps accusing ME of cheating! I’m way too busy, but I’ve thought about what it would be like to be with someone that really sees and appreciates me. This lady can have him, and his laundry!

I cry myself to sleep and constantly compare myself to her. If only I were more like her. She's everything I'm not.

I try to learn everything I can about her. Then I start following him and monitoring his text messages when he’s asleep.

Question 7 of 8

You miss the days at sea. Even when it was hard, it was fun. You want to spend some quality time like you used to have. What’s likely to happen?

We schedule a vacation and really indulge in fun experiences. We feel closer than ever when we get home, refreshed and inspired.

I can’t leave my kids alone. They need me. What if our plane crashes??

We go on a vacation… where he wants to go, doing the things he wants to do. He barely makes any time for me and I’m stuck doing all of the work.

At first our trip is great, but by the second night I catch her flirting with the waiter so I don’t talk to her at all until the next day. The makeup sex is great, though.

Question 8 of 8

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Hey friend!

Beth Rowles

FAMILY ALCHEMIST FOR AMBITIOUS MOMS at FamilyBeing

On a mission to stop creating childhoods that kids have to recover from by ending divorce culture, Beth helps ambitious, often entrepreneurial, moms use their marriage conflict as a feedback loop so they can grow in self-awareness and authentically create the relationship they want without leaving the one they're in.

Hey friend!