What Are Thorny Stories?

Ego, Emotions, Exploring Triggers, Marriage, Relationships
March 1, 2021

The Authentic Wife and Mom

Beth Rowles | The Conscious Marriage Coach

You may have heard the term “thorns” from my book, The Authentic Wife (page 116), or from Quantum Love by Dr. Laura Berman, or The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. If not, what the heck am I talking about? I’m referring to emotional pain from some point in our life that we haven’t fully processed that lingers just below the surface. We often end up spending our time avoiding situations where those thorns will be touched or creating situations where we can avoid feeling them.

They’re all the “stuff” we haven’t dealt with. They can come from childhood or any point in our life where something happened that hurt but instead of facing the hurt we just added an app in our ego software that helped us avoid ever feeling that again.

Thorns often carry with them a tendency to overreact or have a response to something that doesn’t match the stimulus. I share in the video above how having a video for a course I’m in returned because it was 32 seconds too long triggered me recently. I don’t think most people would get so upset that they’re unable to be present because they have to trim a video to make it 32 seconds shorter!

What was really happening was the rejection managed to touch a thorn I have about rejection, perfection, and even laziness. I was able to use my own Self-Coaching Workbook (CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD) to get to the root of the thorn and pull it. Sitting with the emotion and allowing it to flow was part of pulling it, getting to the core limiting beliefs and adopting new thoughts was another.

(In the end, I was able to quickly trim the video, resubmit it, and even got two awards from my university for the project!)

Thorns are the ego alerting us that something happened that threatens our sense of self.

Understanding who we REALLY are helps us to detach from that false sense of self and no longer be ruled by the ego.

Sometimes we need to reparent our inner child which is much easier if we’re already a conscious parent. Just imagine your inner child as your own child and do for them what you do for your child. Love them the way you needed to be loved.

If you’d like help with a thorn, schedule a call to learn more about my coaching program! There’s no need to be ruled by others and your thorns any longer.

Click here to read more about Conscious Marriage.

Beth Rowles
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I'm Beth Rowles, Hi!

I help driven moms use the conflict in their marriage as a feedback loop to grow in self-awareness so they can create the marriage they, and their kids, deserve without leaving the one they're in or waiting for their husband to evolve.

I'm the author of The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage and host of The Authentic Wife Show podcast & YouTube channel.


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"Your partner is ultimately a mirror of how you feel about yourself, and your relationship will call on you to get into integrity with earlier wounds and negative life patterns."

--Dr. Laura Berman, Quantum Love

Love Queen, Enneagram 5, Child Prioritizer, Problem Solver, Book Lover, Authenticity Expert, And Your Marriage Saver

I’m Beth.
Your Authenticity
[to keep it a Family] Coach.

You and your kids deserve a marriage that brings your light to life. That may seem far away right now, but I’m proof that it’s possible and in your power to create! Stop worrying about what your kids are learning from him and let’s figure out what they can learn from you, mama!