Should you have kids?

Agendas, Boundaries, Coaching, Development, Newborn, Parenting, Personal Development, Relationships, Self Care, Worth
April 5, 2018

The Authentic Wife and Mom

Beth Rowles | The Conscious Marriage Coach

Don’t have kids.

I love kids… they’ve been on my virtual vision board as long as I can remember.  I love my own and I was so ready for them by the time they finally came (after resisting infertility for three years).

But when I talk to young folk (ugh, when did I get so olddd??), I often advise them NOT to have kids.

Why would a Parenting Coach do that???

Well, it’s not bad for business…  everyone will think I’m crazy or just don’t like kids and will do it anyway!

But here’s the truth: Don’t have kids UNLESS…

  • Unless you’re willing to be inconvenienced almost every waking moment of your day that they’re in your care

  • Unless you’re ready to flow with the moment AS IT IS 

  • Unless you’re ready to give up your delusion of control, your agenda, your plan of the way things should be

  • Unless you’re ready to feel like you pick up the house/car/yard nonstop

  • Unless you’re ready to either deny them things or take on the added energy of so much more in your home

  • Unless you’re ready to actually take care of yourself and love yourself FIRST

  • Unless you are willing to be covered in everything that could come out of a body

  • Unless you can question the things your parents/church/doctors told you and find your OWN inner compass for guidance

  • Unless you are prepared to get very little sleep for 5+ years

  • Unless you are strong enough to hold boundaries firmly

  • Unless you know exactly what you are worth

  • Unless you can sit with someone in the midst of a hurricane of emotions without any reaction but compassion to them

  • Unless you are ready to face anything you’ve been avoiding facing in your relationship

  • Unless you are ready to change your lifestyle to meet their needs, which are very demanding in the first six years

  • Unless you are willing to learn about child development so you know their capabilities at each stage

  • Unless you can drop your vision in an instant to meet them where they are now

  • Unless you can have total, utter, complete non-resistance to LIFE as it shows up

Of course you’ve read that and still want kids.  And I congratulate you, because once you have them you will be guided by the greatest teacher you’ve ever known through all of the above and so much more!   Your own child will inspire you to do the work like no one else can.   Mine did from the moment they arrived.

I say inspire, because you don’t have to do it, and a lot of people won’t.  But know the child WILL suffer as your own unhealed pain is unconsciously handed over.

But then they will be even more likely to do the work someday.

There’s no right or wrong in parenting itself.  There is either a willingness to do the work or not. 

If you’re already in the thick of it, it would be my honor to lovingly support you through the work, as well as provide you with the child development knowledge and tools you need to guide your children at each stage.  Apply for a free Authentic Wife & Family Evaluation Call today.

If you suspect at all that you might be unwilling, then look strongly at your motivation for having a child and consider their future.  Do you want them to have to do the work, too?  Are you ready for 18+ years of conflict?



Beth Rowles
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I'm Beth Rowles, Hi!

I help driven moms use the conflict in their marriage as a feedback loop to grow in self-awareness so they can create the marriage they, and their kids, deserve without leaving the one they're in or waiting for their husband to evolve.

I'm the author of The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage and host of The Authentic Wife Show podcast & YouTube channel.


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"Your partner is ultimately a mirror of how you feel about yourself, and your relationship will call on you to get into integrity with earlier wounds and negative life patterns."

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Love Queen, Enneagram 5, Child Prioritizer, Problem Solver, Book Lover, Authenticity Expert, And Your Marriage Saver

I’m Beth.
Your Authenticity
[to keep it a Family] Coach.

You and your kids deserve a marriage that brings your light to life. That may seem far away right now, but I’m proof that it’s possible and in your power to create! Stop worrying about what your kids are learning from him and let’s figure out what they can learn from you, mama!