The Quantum Love JourneyMy signature framework for having healthy relationships
Here’s How It Works:
Watch or continue reading to learn all about The Quantum Love Journey, created with Dr. Laura Berman, relationship expert and author of Quantum Love.
Ugh, he did it again!
First, You're Upset.
It seems like your husband is doing something he shouldn’t, not doing something he should, or somehow creating conflict in the relationship. Your body goes from cool or normal to a depleting emotion like anger, sadness, guilt, shame, apathy–or even moves into depression.
But you know The Quantum Love Journey so you begin its six steps:
Step 1: Explore Triggers
You begin by identifying your thoughts and feelings to figure out why you’re upset to begin with. What needs to be healed? What action do you need to take? How do you respond?
Step 2: Heal
If you uncover a thorn, childhood wound, or some sticky spot for you, then you begin to apply the medicine: self-parenting, letting go of limiting beliefs, allowing old emotions to flow, etc. Now you’re able to go back to the moment with presence and mindfully respond.
Step 3: Energetic Coherence
With the emotional baggage unpacked, now you’re able to shift not only into the present moment, but into something called coherence. This is a smooth, rhythmic, and harmonious body state where your nervous system is regulated. By doing this, you’re able to change the energy of those around you who will begin to entrain to, or match, your regulated state.
Step 4: Intention Setting
With your energy aligned to your authentic self, you now get to choose what you would like to happen next. By choosing an intention for your action, conversation, day, or just the next moment, you inform your self of what action to take that is aligned with your intention.
Step 5: Connection & Empathy
With renewed confidence and a regulated nervous system, you can now connect with your husband and listen to him with empathy. You’ll be able to help him move through his own emotions so you can get to his prefrontal cortex and begin to have a logical, problem-solving conversation or otherwise work through the conflict. You can also hold your boundary without creating more defensiveness!
Step 6: Communication
With everyone out of fight-or-flight survival mode, you can now connect on the human level through your words (we first communicate through our energy!) This step is the last because your words don’t matter if the energy beneath them doesn’t match. You’ll feel more comfortable sharing what’s on your heart which will inspire him to serve you in the way you need. And you’ll work together to find solutions as a team, rather than bearing all the load of decision making.
Healthy Relationship Skills? Modeled.
You’ve just shown your children that:
1. They don’t have to live alone to be safe to be who they really are
2. It’s ok to have big feelings, but not ok to ignore them. They hold wisdom about what action to take!
3. When we feel bad, it’s our responsibility to heal and find our way back to happiness or to get the support we need to just sit with our big emotions until they pass.
4. You get to CHOOSE how you want your life to go. You have the power to set a vision for the way you’ll show up in the world!
5. The ability to offer true empathy is 90% of connection! This is how they’ll lead teams and build their future!
6. That communication skills are something we need to learn, like cooking, and need to practice at daily to enjoy what we create with them.
And that’s it… until the next conflict, where you’ll start again at Step 1. This process will get faster and faster as time goes on, as long as you’re willing to do all six steps, you’ll create the relationships you want!
Are You Ready to Live Happily Ever After?LOVE DOESN'T ONLY EXIST IN FAIRYTALES
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and save your marriage (and your kids) from divorce without sacrificing who you really are.