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Create the relationship you want without leaving the one you're in

how to have a conscious marriage

…Because the cost of not modeling healthy relationship skills
is even greater than the cost of divorce…

WORK WITH METAKE "SHOULD I GET DIVORCED?" QUIZ

Can You Imagine What’s Possible?

Why healthy relationships require inner work

“But isn’t staying in an unhealthy marriage bad for my children?”

This is the question I asked when I began the journey that saved my marriage and kept my family together. I was afraid that it was bad for my kids to see my husband treat me “that way.” No matter how much I didn’t want to repeat my parents’ patterns and divorce, I thought I had no choice.

The problem with that question is that it presumes our half of the relationship equation isn’t part of the sum of the relationship. In other words, it presumes that our spouse’s behavior will be the same regardless of their environment and the people around them… and that ours will as well. It presumes that we are unchangeable, a rigid constant no matter what life throws at us.

So let me ask you if you became happier when you grew up and left your parents’ home? Did you feel freer, more independent, more loved? Did you change as a result of no longer being criticized, shamed, abused, or made to feel like you weren’t good enough just as you were?

Chances are you did. The person you became in the presence of the negative energy of your parents is not the real you. You adapted to feel safe. And while you may think you’re finding safety by leaving your husband, I invite you to consider the possibility that the person they are in your presence is not the real them… nor is the person you’re being in their presence the real you.

Your marriage is failing because you are two hurting humans looking to be accepted just as you are, for who you really are. The relationship created on the crumbling foundation of your childhood traumas IS ready to end, but the possibility of rebuilding a relationship on the rock of your authentic selves is available to you right now.

This journey to inner freedom, happiness, and relationship mastery is called The Quantum Love Journey. Keep reading to discover how it works to create a conscious marriage using the relationship you already have as a feedback loop to grow in self-awareness.

 

Step 1

Exploring Triggers

Step 2

Healing

Step 3

Energetic Coherence

Step 4

Intention Setting

Step 5

Connection & Empathy

Step 6

Communication

Step 1: Exploring Triggers

when you get upset, stop and get curious

The first step in The Quantum Love Journey is to explore your triggers, or the times you have an emotional reaction to something that is beyond the actual stimulus. So the fights with your husband, feeling sad after a conversation, being afraid your marriage is ready to end after your spouse’s bad behavior… These are all points in time where we are triggered to react.

That reaction is our cue that something deeper is at play. There is some part of us that wants to be witnessed or healed.

Recommended Reading: The Authentic Wife, Quantum Love, The Untethered Soul, The Conscious Parent, The Awakened Family, What Happened To You, The Four Agreements, Eastern Body Western Mind, How Toddlers Thrive, Unconditional Parenting, The Gift of Fear, Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters

 Exploring Triggers: Using conflict and negative energy shifts as feedback, you’ll investigate the root cause of behavioral patterns you want to stop repeating in your life. 

How to Get the Love You Deserve Without Fighting: Understanding Boundaries

Divorce should be the last boundary you hold, not the first... but what does 'boundary' even mean? That's the topic of today's video and post. Click here to read more about having a conscious marriage. We all seem to have different ideas about what boundaries are. I...

Why Blame Is Creating Relationship Issues

When we feel negative or depleting emotions, it means that we are in an ego state where we believe that life is happening TO us. We are blaming others for our problems.  What I did and what I see women do all the time is that we start to have judgments about our...

Why Do We Judge Others and How Do We Use It To Have Better Relationships?

We judge others against our "book of law," or our conditioned set of beliefs. We also judge others because they hold up mirrors for us about ourselves. What we've rejected or are unaware of in ourselves (unconscious) causes a reaction in us that manifests as judgment...

What Are Mirrors and How To Use Them to Have Better Relationships

When we wonder why does my husband annoy me so much or how husbands should treat their wives, we're often blind to the fact that what bothers us about our husband is a reflection of what bothers us about ourselves. This ability to use relationships to reflect on...

How to Change Limiting Beliefs

Growing up, we're given a "book of law" full of beliefs, about the way the world works and about ourselves. These come from our parents, school, church, friends, etc. They use the labels we've assigned everything to help us quickly make sense of the world and how to...

Why Do I Get Triggered?

We're triggered when something happens that creates intense emotions in us that are some type of FEAR. We can experience rejection, betrayal, disapproval, criticism, loss of control, feeling unwanted, etc. What Causes It? The trigger can be related to trauma or...

What Are Thorny Stories?

You may have heard the term "thorns" from my book, The Authentic Wife (page 116), or from Quantum Love by Dr. Laura Berman, or The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. If not, what the heck am I talking about? I'm referring to emotional pain from some point in our...

Why Does Relationship Conflict Lead to Growth?

Conflict with others is an opportunity for us to grow as a person, grow in self-awareness, and grow our most valuable skills. Before I started doing this work in Conscious Parenting and the work that led to saving my marriage, I used to view conflict just as something...

7 Areas Where Your Relationship Might Struggle

Wondering how to get on the same page as your husband around parenting, the mental load, or something else? When I was struggling with my husband, I just knew I was unhappy and he was (or seemed to be) the one to blame. It started to just become a big list of...

3 Things Love Isn’t and Why You Should Learn Quantum Love Instead

Wondering how a broken marriage can be fixed? Or how to fix a marriage that is falling apart? I remember thinking my husband was a lazy parent or a disappointing father or being worried that he would rather play video games than spend time with me. I thought we were...

When Your Parents Aren’t Proud of You: Self-Parenting for Adult Children

The most interesting thing about self-parenting (or re-parenting) to me is that the entire Bible is about it. Jesus kept telling us that it didn't matter how much our earthly parents let us down, because we had a Father in heaven who loved us no matter what. Jesus....

What Are Chakras?

Chakra means disc or wheel. Consider it a disk that contains vital programs for your body. If the body is our hardware, programming is our software, and the self is the user, what activates each program is the energy poured into the system. The chakras are "intricate...

How The Body Stores Emotions

Did you know that emotions get stored in the body if you try to stuff them down or ignore them? First, let's define emotions. These are the messages we get that guide us to take action and make decisions. Emotions Are: Energy in motion that arises to alert us to our...

Why Forgiveness Changes Relationships

Forgiveness used to seem like a weakness to me. It felt like giving someone a free pass for poor behavior. What I didn't realize was that I was staying frozen in time in the energy of the event rather than seeing how it could possibly serve me and moving on. I've...

How to Open Your Heart

Ever feel like maybe you don't know how to love correctly? Like everyone told you having your baby would be the most love you'd ever experience and you get that intellectually, but you feel like something just doesn't feel right when you're with them? The problem is...

Why You Can’t Cry

Maybe as part of al-anon, therapy, or another intervention, you learned about boundaries and cut people out of your life that felt toxic. There's a good chance when you did that you shut down your feelings as well, and now are wondering why you can't cry, can't love,...

What You Should Know About Inauthentic Shame

What is inauthentic shame and how can we get rid of it? Inauthentic shame is when another person shames you, yet you haven't done anything wrong. By WRONG I mean that you haven't done anything that hurts nature or humanity. You haven't acted out of integrity. Your...

I just had this baby I’ve wanted forever, why am I crying?!

Ahh, that new baby smell..I remember those first few nights after my newborn arrived.  I'd had an induction and spent the entire week in the hospital, half of it getting to and then in labor.  I had her naturally, but had caved and used the epidural on the...

Step 2: Healing

Understand mentally, repair physically

Identifying the patterns, understanding the unconscious behavior that caused the pain, reparenting your inner child — all of these MENTAL healing steps are needed but healing must also happen at an ENERGETIC level as well.

When all of the old emotions and traumas are gone, you are guided by your free-flowing emotions in the present moment and can stay in home frequency (an energizing emotional space) around others.

Recommended Reading: The Authentic Wife, Quantum LoveEastern Body Western Mind, The Seat of The Soul, A New Earth, The Language of Emotions, Mind to Matter, A Course in Weight Loss, Dying To Be Me

Healing: Fully feeling any repressed emotions, reparenting your inner child, forgiving yourself and others, and adopting new beliefs all serve to reprogram your body & brain, aided by regular meditation to help you take control of your thoughts.

Step 3: Energetic Coherence

Harnessing the powerful influence of your body’s energy

When you’re stressed, your brain is in high beta brainwaves. You can change these to more soothing alpha or delta brainwaves through meditation, which helps you get out of the primal part of your brain that reacts so you can choose a response instead.

Likewise, your heart moves into erratic heart rhythms under stress which depletes your energy AND causes your loved ones to match the erratic energy of your body.

Energetic coherence is a smooth, steady rhythm needed for optimal function.

Recommended Reading: The Science of HeartMath, Science of the HeartThe Authentic Wife, Quantum LoveThe Language of Emotions, Mind to Matter, The Emotional Intelligence and Power of Our Hearts, The Gift of Fear, The Motherhood Evolution

Energetic Coherence: Using self-care to shift into an open-hearted state of love or a higher energetic state where life is happening by you. Ensuring your own needs are met. 

How to Change Your Husband’s Energy like Dr. Laura Berman

As a marriage coach helping women create the relationship they want without leaving the one they're in, we explore dysfunctional generational behavior patterns. But another thing that we work on changing is our energy, because we can actually put an end to a lot of...

What Are We? Quantum Physics for Relationships

Do you ever watch a four-hour video on YouTube that changes your life? (Just me?) The video below features scientist Gregg Braden, and when my parenting certification course suggested I watch it, I was a little confused. Yet the way Gregg explains Quantum Physics...

What To Do When Your Partner’s Negativity Is Draining You

When my own marriage was at its lowest point, I felt like my husband was dragging me down. I felt like his negativity was draining me. I write in my book, The Authentic Life, how I felt like I was hanging on hundreds of balloons floating in the sky and that when he...

Why Movement Moves Out Emotions

Since suppressed emotions are stored in the body, we have to engage in practices that help us release them. Movement, massage, and exercise are some of the physical ways to get that energy out of the body. Please be sure to read last week's blog as well, How The Body...

3 Things Love Isn’t and Why You Should Learn Quantum Love Instead

Wondering how a broken marriage can be fixed? Or how to fix a marriage that is falling apart? I remember thinking my husband was a lazy parent or a disappointing father or being worried that he would rather play video games than spend time with me. I thought we were...

Fear as the Barometer of Soul-Alignment

I had a gut feeling from the time I read the email. Something was just off. I didn't care for the tone, the lack of personal greeting, the demands. My gut said no. Then I listened to others. I knew it was what I SHOULD do. On the day of the meeting, I learned more...

5 Ways to Fit in Self-Care When You Have Little Kids

Read more about Parenting. What is self-care? Self-care means taking care of yourself to refuel, or replenish your own energy. It starts with the basics like sleep, eating, and hygiene, but we often forget that mentally, emotionally, and spiritually we need to do...

Mom, I’m Not a Crybaby

Imagine you're watching a child struggle at the playground. Tears start to fall as his big sister pushes in front of him. His mom pulls the phone away from her mouth to tell him to stop crying right now, that she's "not raising no crybaby." What she doesn't know is...

Why Depression is More Than a Chemical Imbalance

From postpartum depression to clinical depression, it seems like no one goes untouched by this debilitating condition at least once in their lifetime.“...Depression is caused when the brain’s stress machinery goes into overdrive.  The most prominent player in...

Finding Time for Self Care

When I recommend that clients make more time for self-care, they act like I'm nuts.  Sleep?!  What is that?!  I can't do that! I know, I know.  I'm right in the thick of it with you!  My kids are little; my youngest is still not consistently sleeping through the...

How Our Thoughts Create Our Reality

Our thoughts and feelings are vibrational energy waves, like everything around us. Every thought you have creates a vibration that goes out into the quantum field, or web of energy, or matrix, forever. These vibrations meet others, creating a maze of energy. Get...

How Our Brains Screw Up Our Relationships

There is so much data available to us at every moment. Remember that every thought, emotion, words, etc. are all just energy. Every cell in our body, every leaf on every plant, is energy with a detectable field all around us. If we were an antenna wide open to that,...

Why Blame Is Creating Relationship Issues

When we feel negative or depleting emotions, it means that we are in an ego state where we believe that life is happening TO us. We are blaming others for our problems.  What I did and what I see women do all the time is that we start to have judgments about our...

How to Save a Marriage By Yourself

So, you're an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen - most of the time. But those times he's angry? You question if you're more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you're being irresponsible...

Is Your Missing Intention For Your Relationship Sabotaging It?

“What’s your intention for your relationship?” << That’s one of the first questions I ask my clients. If I could sprinkle pixie dust on your relationship to make it perfect, whether it's with your spouse or child, what does that perfect look like, for you?...

Step 4: Intention Setting

Take Control Of What You’re Creating

Everything that happens in your life is created by an intention, even if you don’t choose it. It’s often our subconscious intentions running the show and we don’t even realize it. You see, intentions shape your actions, words, thoughts, energy, and behavior. If you have an intention to enjoy your dinner no matter what, you will!

If you have a subconscious intention that your marriage end, it will as well. 🙁

Choosing intentions moment by moment helps you take back your power as the creator of your life rather than being lived by it. You don’t have to know what the future holds, but you can have the intention right now to speak your truth, for example.

Recommended Reading: The Authentic Wife, Quantum Love, The Four AgreementsThe Seat of The Soul, The Language of Emotions, Mind to Matter, The Spiritual Power of Empathy

Intention Setting: By identifying your intention, you’ll change your thoughts and behaviors to match the experience you want to have.

Step 5: Connection & Empathy

Connection before correction

Connection may seem to be the last thing you want right now, but its absence is preventing you from being heard the way you deserve.

When I realized that my fear of being open to connection was really the fear of being even further depleted emotionally, I was able to dive deeper into my self-care practices to have enough energy to even bring to the table. Then I realized that connection could actually be energizing in itself if I wasn’t in a state of resistance while attempting it.

It may surprise you, but the FBI actually uses connection and empathy in hostage negotiations to resolve them without anyone getting hurt. If nothing else, pretend you’re a hostage negotiator! 🙂

Recommended Reading: Quantum LoveThe Language of Emotions, The Art of Empathy, Never Split The Difference, Boundaries* The Spiritual Power of Empathy, The Gift of Fear

Connection & Empathy: Actively listening without judgment while seeking to understand, with genuine care for the other and with solid energetic boundaries. Receiving care. Expressing care verbally or physically by giving from an overflow.

*This book condones spanking. I don’t! There are great lessons in it outside of the parenting sections.

How to Stop Feeling Bad About Holding Boundaries With Your Husband

As I've learned to become more authentic and especially an Authentic Wife, there have been so many moments when I knew that my body was saying no to something but not saying yes just felt terrible. I'd feel kind of disassociated from my body, start to get quiet, feel...

How Husbands Sabotage Sexual Intimacy With Unwanted Touching

She's standing at the sink, and a curve just hits you. Before you know it, you're grabbing her bottom or her breasts and ready to pull her in for a kiss. Harmless, right? Wrong. Now before we go any further, I want you to know that YOU are not bad for wanting to touch...

Unnecessary Divorce is the Ultimate Act of Narcissism

I believe that a parent's unnecessary divorce (meaning there's no safety issue) is the ultimate act of narcissism. Before you say your parents divorced and you turned out fine, or it's all about how you co-parent after, save it. To me, it's no different than the...

The Conscious Response to An Unconscious Husband

What do you do with a husband who can go into a rage? With a spouse who rants and complains and is unconscious? When I was learning Conscious Parenting and exploring the Tao and mindfulness, meditation and detachment, I was really confused about what it meant. I...

Embracing Your Feminine Energy is Not Submitting to a Gender Role

Picture it: Sicily Frigid Ohio, five years ago. The bottom of my stainless steel sink is buried under a layer of baby bottles that must be washed tonight or her 3 AM wakeup is not going to go well. Tears stream down her face as soon as I walk away to do anything. The...

Is Your Ego Where Your Boundaries Should Be?

Heart armor used to do the job of my missing boundaries. Maybe you know this armor as your ego. It's that voice inside your head that judges others as good or bad to make you feel safe and good. It's always trying to build us up so we don't feel pain. The more hurts...

Conscious Relationships When He’s Not Conscious

"He's not conscious, what do I do?" <-- Is this question on your mind? What the heck do we do with the relationship when we've done allllll this personal growth work and our husband is just lagging behind in unconscious-ville, all up in his ego? He's not parenting...

But can you HEAR me, now?

We have a friend, I'll call her Susie, who is a very hard person to connect with.  This is what it's like to talk to Susie: Me:  I'm just feeling so frustrated.  We want this house but it's at the high end of our budget. Susie: Oh, how much is it? Me: It's $279,000. ...

How to Lead Your Family With Emotional Intelligence

One of the biggest frustrations my clients have is the fact that they do everything in their homes. They feel really tired, exhausted, and unsupported and they're not sure how to get their husband to help more around the house. I've made classes on this and you can...

Marriage is the Sport that Helps You Win at Life

It’s 8:30AM on October 1st, 1993. Three Chase Manhattan Bank employees have just been taken hostage by two men in Brooklyn, New York. One employee manages to trip an alarm, alerting the police. The block shuts down as first responders and news reporters fill the...

How to Level Up Your Voice Health to Connect With Confidence

In this interview with voice health expert and Speech and Language Pathologist, Brienne Hennessy, we cover all of my questions about voice health, like: Where do speech issues come from? What causes mumbling? What happens if kids' voices aren't respected, heard in the...

Embracing Your Feminine Energy is Not Submitting to a Gender Role

Picture it: Sicily Frigid Ohio, five years ago. The bottom of my stainless steel sink is buried under a layer of baby bottles that must be washed tonight or her 3 AM wakeup is not going to go well. Tears stream down her face as soon as I walk away to do anything. The...

Angry? Where Are Your Boundaries?

If you’re an empath, having kids revealed any way you gave too much of yourself to the more narcissistic partner. Whatever imbalance existed--in meeting their needs over meeting your own--will be revealed because your kids don’t have an alternative; they depend on you...

Is Your Ego Where Your Boundaries Should Be?

Heart armor used to do the job of my missing boundaries. Maybe you know this armor as your ego. It's that voice inside your head that judges others as good or bad to make you feel safe and good. It's always trying to build us up so we don't feel pain. The more hurts...

What Kind of Partnership Do We Have and How Will it Affect Our Kids?

We can usually understand where we fall on the narcissist-empath spectrum by the dynamic in our relationship. Find your Partnership Style and how it affects your kids.

The Essential Respects

When I think about what boundaries to hold with myself and my children that serve our highest selves (and not my ego), they all come back to respect.   As I have recently scheduled time every day to give myself the gift of exercise, the idea of respect for my body is...

Shame, Blame, and Anger: How We Set Our Kids Up for Failure as Adults

"Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is “I am bad.” Guilt is “I did something bad.” How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, “I'm sorry. I made a mistake?” How many of you would be willing to say...

The Two Hardest Times of The Day For Any Parent

I know that I am not alone when I say there are still two extremely challenging areas of the day for ALL parents, those embracing peaceful/conscious parenting styles which follow the Empowerment Model, and those that use authoritative/ancient parenting with the Power...

Step 6: Communication

Your power is your voice

While communication is often the first thing we want to tackle, just saying the right words is far less important than being fully present in the conversation, which we can’t do until we’ve visited the first five steps. 

The most important thing I had to change was a shift from masculine energy-based demanding, criticizing, requesting, shaming, and passive-aggressive jabs to feminine energy-based observations and vulnerable shares about my true thoughts and feelings. I had to go from masculine analyzing and logic to feminine empathizing and being receptive to love.

Recommended Reading:  The Art of Empathy, Never Split The Difference, Boundaries*, Nonviolent Communication, How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, How To Win Friends & Influence People, Methods of Persuasion

Communication: Expressing your inner world without defensiveness or attack, but with the intention to be understood and to problem-solve. Verbalizing expectations for mutual agreement and informing others of boundary violations as needed.

*This book condones spanking. I don’t! There are great lessons in it outside of the parenting sections.

Here’s What I Know To Be True

About Love and Marriage

Every woman has the power to create the relationships she wants with the people already in her life

You have the power to change your relationship or your life by changing the role you play in it

You can't change a relationship by looking outward for someone to blame

All relationships are here to propel us forward in life--either through contrast (what we don't want) or collaboration

There's a fierce energy in all of us that's unleashed when we're closest to our SOUL truth. Likewise, we feel resistance when we're moving away from it

There's no outside influence more dangerous in a child's life than having a parent too busy to be PRESENT with them

Whatever you think you're protecting your child from is only an old wound you haven't faced yet

If you want to lose your way, you should ignore your feelings

Love is an energy, like a fire inside our chests. You alone can douse it and you alone can build it. It isn't transactional, dependent, or needy. It's a state of being.

We're no good to anyone else unless we take care of ourselves first.

We create each other. If you don't like your marriage, examine your role in it

We allow others to grow when we ask them for help

Is Divorce Really That Bad?

If you have children together, yes.

I always knew that I didn’t want to divorce simply because of the way it turned my life completely upside down when my own parents divorced, but when my husband and I were struggling I secretly hoped my case was an anomaly.

It wasn’t.

Research shows us that emotional costs include feeling sad and angry, embarrassment, fear of abandonment, grief over loss, irrational hope of reconciliation, worry about their parent’s well-being, anxiety about divided loyalties, and uncertainty about romantic relationships. Children can experience psychosomatic symptoms as well including headaches, vomiting, dizziness, sleep problems, stomachaches, and inability to concentrate.

In 2001 Paul Amato updated his meta-analysis of ninety-two studies previously published in 1991 with results from sixty-seven new studies and he found that, on average, “children with divorced parents did significantly worse than children with continuously married parents in terms of academic achievement, self-esteem, popularity and peer relations, misbehavior, depression, and anxiety.”

There is no age group that is not negatively affected by divorce. Studies show even infants are not immune. Babies with regular overnight visits with their father are more insecure and disorganized in their attachment to their mothers and more disorganized with their father according to a study by Solomon and George published in 1996. A second study by Clarke-Stewart et al., published in 2007 showed very young children are less positive, affectionate, and engaged in play with their mothers than children from married families.

The effects of divorce don’t end in childhood.

In 2000 the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology published a study of college students whose parents had divorced that found 75% felt they would have been a different person if their parents hadn’t divorced. 50% said they missed not having their father around, they had a harder childhood than most people, or they wished they had grown up in a never-divorced family. 25% wondered if their father really loved them, and 20% believed they were doomed to repeat their parents’ problems – all significantly different responses than those from students who grew up in always married families.

In 2001 a study by Furstenberg and Kiernan published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicated that individuals whose parents divorced are more likely to break up with their live-in partner, suffer economically, live in subsidized housing, be on welfare, and men are more likely to be unemployed.

 

References:

I suggest two books to learn more about why it matters to our world and to the future of humanity to end divorce culture:

Divorce: Causes and Consequences

The Divorce Culture

Please also see my video, Ending Divorce Culture and read my essay, Marriage Is The Sport That Helps You Win At Life

Be sure to visit my YouTube Channel for more!

  1. Clarke-Stewart A, Brentano C. Divorce Causes and Consequences. Yale University Press; 2006. Accessed February 4, 2021. https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=cat07141a&AN=ebc.EBC3419862&authtype=sso&custid=ns017578&site=eds-live&scope=site
  2. Amato, P. R. ( 2003 ). Children of divorce in the 1990 s: An update of the Amato and Keith ( 1991) meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 15 , 355 – 370 .
  3. Emery, R. E., Laumann-Billings, L., Waldron, M. C., Sbarra, D. A., and Dillon, P. ( 2001 ). Child custody mediation and litigation: Custody, contact, and coparenting 12 years after initial dispute resolution. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 69, 323-332.
  4. Judith, A. (2004). Eastern Body, Western Mind: Psychology and the Chakra System As a Path to the Self (Revised ed.). Celestial Arts.
  5. Furstenberg, F. F., and Kiernan, K. E. (2001). Delayed parental divorce: How much do children benefit? Journal of Marriage and Family, 63, 446-457.
  6. Solomon, J., and George, C. (1999). The development of attachment in separated and divorced families: Effects of overnight visitation, parent and couple variables. Attachment and Human Development, 1, 2-33.
  7. Clarke-Stewart, K. A., Vandell, D.L., McCartney, K., Owen, M.T., and Booth, C. (2000). Effects of parental separation and divorce on very young children. Journal of Family Psychology, 14, 304-326.
  8. Amato, P. R., and DeBoer, D. D. (2001) The transmission of marital instability across generations: Relationship skills or commitment to marriage? Journal of Marriage and Family, 63, 1038-1051.

Resources & Offerings

So You Feel Like You Can Love Him Again

Free Download: 30 Texts to Ask Your Husband For Help Without Starting A Fight

Get your husband off the couch without starting a fight. A must-have resource for driven moms that helps you have more quality, peaceful time to spend with your family. Ask your husband to help without it turning into a fight.

eBook: Love Him Again

The only book that shows you how to create the relationship you want without leaving the one you’re in. Discover how to use The Quantum Love Journey in your marriage and start feeling happy again, knowing your kids have the father they need and you have the husband you need. 

Book: The Authentic Wife

The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage shares with you my growth through the first three stages of The Quantum Love Journey. I share with you how mentally I had to divorce my husband to be able to create a new spiritual partnership with him.

Online Class: Getting The Love You Deserve

Understand how to set and hold boundaries and limits with your husband and your children. This online course is for women whose boundaries weren’t respected in their family of origin. Help your family to love themselves without feeling guilt for loving yourself.

Online Course: The Authentic Life

The only online course that helps driven women recover from their childhoods to respond rather than react in a life and family they create without sacrificing authenticity.

Happily Ever After Marriage Coaching

I work privately with clients over phone, text, or Zoom to help you use The Quantum Love Journey in your life. We’ll focus on what you can control: you. You’ll be prepared to live life happily ever after no matter what your husband does!

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