How Our Brains Screw Up Our Relationships

Intention Setting
July 10, 2021

The Authentic Wife and Mom

Beth Rowles | The Conscious Marriage Coach

There is so much data available to us at every moment. Remember that every thought, emotion, words, etc. are all just energy. Every cell in our body, every leaf on every plant, is energy with a detectable field all around us. If we were an antenna wide open to that, we’d go crazy.

Click here to read more about having a conscious marriage.


That’s a Lot to Process (Literally!)

In fact, we are all empaths, and empathy is actually the ability to pick up on that energetic information. We’re all gifted in different ways here — some of us easily just know more than it seems we should, others can feel the pain someone is experiencing, others can see what happened in an area – these are our clairs and most of us have at least one and some have more than one:

  • Clairvoyance – clear seeing
  • Clairaudience – clear hearing
  • Clairsentience – clear feeling
  • Clairalience – clear smelling
  • Clairgustance – clear tasting
  • Claircognizance – clear knowing

Time to Clean the Filter

So what filters all of this data for us? Our brains. There’s a field of thought that believes that highly sensitive or autistic people actually have fewer filters than the rest of us.

Georgetown University professor and scientist, Karl Pribram, found the brain contains a certain “envelope” mechanism, which only gives us what we need on a daily basis. Our brains sift through all of these bits of information and give us a drastically condensed version of the world. We get a version that our brains literally concoct, instead of experiencing the world as it truly is.

Our brains process 400 billion bits of information a second! We can only consciously process about 2,000 bits — missing most of what’s happening!

This is why empathy as we know it, the understanding of another’s perspective, requires us to be mindful (have good control of our brain) so we can go beyond our own filters and step into the shoes of others.

Our Belief System Instructs Our Brain’s Filter

Your brain selects where your attention will go based on what it believes is important. You are seeing what you choose to see, what you’re capable of seeing, and what you’re manifesting before you.

Your brain is shaping your reality then telling you it’s the only reality out there.

Everything coming at us is FILTERED through our brains first.

“In order to manage the volume of stimuli it has to process, the brain develops patterns, biases, and generalizations that lump the information together in a way that is manageable. Sometimes it will distort the information to make it fit and other times it will delete the information entirely.” Dr. Laura Berman, Quantum Love

So the next time you are feeling low, negative, or depleting emotions, ask yourself if what you are believing about your situation is even really REAL. How has it been filtered?


Click here to learn how to create the relationship you want without leaving the one you’re in with my Happily Ever After Marriage Coaching Program!



Beth Rowles
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I'm Beth Rowles, Hi!

I help driven moms use the conflict in their marriage as a feedback loop to grow in self-awareness so they can create the marriage they, and their kids, deserve without leaving the one they're in or waiting for their husband to evolve.

I'm the author of The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage and host of The Authentic Wife Show podcast & YouTube channel.


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"Your partner is ultimately a mirror of how you feel about yourself, and your relationship will call on you to get into integrity with earlier wounds and negative life patterns."

--Dr. Laura Berman, Quantum Love

Love Queen, Enneagram 5, Child Prioritizer, Problem Solver, Book Lover, Authenticity Expert, And Your Marriage Saver

I’m Beth.
Your Authenticity
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You and your kids deserve a marriage that brings your light to life. That may seem far away right now, but I’m proof that it’s possible and in your power to create! Stop worrying about what your kids are learning from him and let’s figure out what they can learn from you, mama!