Find out how to completely change the way you experience life!

Empowerment, Husband, judgement, Life, Limiting Beliefs, Personal Development
January 3, 2018

The Authentic Wife and Mom

Beth Rowles | The Conscious Marriage Coach

Conscious Parent Coach, Beth Rowles

There are two ways to experience life: 
1. Camp BS: Life is always happening To Me, I’m at the mercy of it
2. Camp Truth: Life is being created Through Me, I’m powerfully shaping it
Up until the spring of 2014, I was firmly in Camp Bullshit.  I blamed others when I didn’t get a job, or a promotion, or had a crappy relationship.  If I wasn’t busy blaming them, I was busy feeling guilt or shame for not doing something I “SHOULD” be: should be going to church, should be calling a parent, should be losing weight, should be in college, should be married, should, should, should…
It was all BS – Belief Systems that is.  

What is a Belief System?

A belief system is something you were led to believe very early in your life – likely between the ages of 0 and 6 – the programming years.  They come from either your parents or culture (religion, school, etc.). They are merely ideas, and often they are ignorant and harmful ideas that don’t actually serve you in any way.  
They are ideas about yourself that you continue to believe at any cost.

To get to Camp Truth, I had to start a path toward consciousness:

First, I read The Conscious Parent.  
Then I joined Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book club for her next book, The Awakened Family.
Then I took her 4 Weeks to an Awakened Heart Levels I and II courses.
Then I read Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth
And I could go on and on… one thing led to another and finally, this year, I fully entered Camp Truth.

What are the two core emotional states?

Are you in Camp Truth with me?  Here’s an easy way to find out:
1. Are you in a state of love?
2. Or, are you in a state of fear?
These are the only two true emotions and they determine your reality.

What does fear look like?

Fear can take on many different emotions.  Ordered from the most detrimental (lowest frequency), they are: shame, humiliation, guilt, blame, apathy, despair, grief, regret, anxiety, fear, disappointment, longing, anger, hate, scorn, and entitlement.

What does love look like?

Love can also be behind several emotional states.  Ordered from the least powerful to the most powerful (highest frequency), they are: hopeful, courageous, trusting, surrendered, willing, optimistic, accepting, forgiving, understanding, empathetic, love, reverence, joy, peace, bliss, and enlightenment. 

What does low/high frequency mean?

The fact is, we are all energy, and so is everything around us.  But most importantly, our thoughts and emotions are energy.  Yet, each one is a different energy, vibrating at different wavelengths.
Low frequency thoughts have a bigger wavelength.  High frequency thoughts have a shorter wavelength.  
These were beautiful concepts for me to learn, as my background is in radio frequency!  For 14 years I designed and optimized wireless networks for a large wireless communications provider.  Learning that WE are the same as all of those wireless calls I used to study, was pretty mind-blowing.
Basically, WE ourselves are like a cell phone, with our own antenna that is capable of broadcasting and receiving on multiple frequencies.  The energy of love is generated by our heart. 

Tuning our reception

When we’re in a state of shame, we’re broadcasting on the lowest frequency, energetically.  But we’re also receiving on the lowest frequency.

Think of it like tuning a dial on the radio.  If you tune to 100.7, you get rock music (in Cleveland, at least).  If you tune to 87.0 you get static.  Whatever you tune to, that’s all you’ll hear.  That’s all you’re attracting into your attention, yet they all exist at the same time.
Likewise, a cell phone tunes to a very specific frequency to carry your voice conversation or data.
Ironically, low frequency RF can go longer distances but can’t get through dense material, whereas high frequency RF can only go much shorter distances but is a powerful penetrator.   Low frequency emotional states can be found everywhere; rarely do we find someone truly in a high frequency emotional state – but when we do – look out!  They are living the good life.
So, if you only tune to shame, you’re going to attract similar low frequency;
  • people
  • situations
  • places
  • circumstances
  • events
  • relationships
In other words, life is going to suck.
If you instead tune into joy, life is about to get balls to the wall ahhhmaazzzinggg!!
How do I change the channel?

So here’s the thing, YOU have the power every single moment to tune to a different frequency.  THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE IN CHARGE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE.
No one.
Only you can change your energy.
There are a few different ways to do it:
1. Deconstruct WHY you are feeling that way: a Belief System is present either from your parents or from culture.  Feel the pain to heal it.  Understand that this happened for you to grow.  Ask yourself what the event is asking you to learn about YOU.  Now, choose a new belief that SERVES you!
2. Meditate.  Stay on the breath.  Accept what IS rather than what you were EXPECTING it to be.  Ground yourself and move into a state of unconditional love (you will FEEL this in your body).
3. Self-care.  Do what you love, basically – especially something creative!  Paint, draw, take a hike, do yoga, swim, journal, etc. 

How do we shape our reality with intention?

Because everything is just energy, and everything is connected by a field of energy, once you tune into a higher frequency state, you will attract into your life higher frequency (good) things. 
An intention is what you WANT to happen.  It is how you take your power back.  It is saying, this is what I intend to create. This is what I intend to experience.  But, intention can only be effective from a loving place.  
You can’t say “I intend to win the lottery” and be anxious about finances.  That doesn’t work.  You have to already be aligned to a loving, trusting, abundant state.  Then you have to decide what powerful way you’d spread love with those lottery winnings.  How would you serve yourself?  How would you serve others?
Then, you’d have to feel it, see it, smell it, touch it, fully immerse yourself in it happening as though it already has.  This tells that energy field what you want – through the energy you’re transmitting at that moment.
Then you have to let it go.  Release the desire and trust.  Then you have to take inspired action.
This is vital to everything you do, from putting the kids to bed to what you want to accomplish at work each day.  Start the day, or a meeting, or bedtime with an intention.  You might be amazed at how much authentic power you truly have. 

“You can always identify a tree by its fruit.
In the same way, you can always identify your intentions by your experiences.” – Gary Zukav and Linda Francis, The Heart of the Soul

I hope you’ve found this helpful.  As always, please reach out with any questions.  Just email me at beth@familybeing.com or find me on Facebook, facebook.com/familybeing 

I’d love to help you deconstruct and heal.  While it can be done on your own, I’ve found in my life that true transformation didn’t happen until I worked with someone that guided me through the process – my fellow parent coaches.  Find out how you can work with me today to change your life tomorrow.  
Beth Rowles
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I'm Beth Rowles, Hi!

I help driven moms use the conflict in their marriage as a feedback loop to grow in self-awareness so they can create the marriage they, and their kids, deserve without leaving the one they're in or waiting for their husband to evolve.

I'm the author of The Authentic Wife: Uncaging Yourself Through Marriage and host of The Authentic Wife Show podcast & YouTube channel.


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"Your partner is ultimately a mirror of how you feel about yourself, and your relationship will call on you to get into integrity with earlier wounds and negative life patterns."

--Dr. Laura Berman, Quantum Love

Love Queen, Enneagram 5, Child Prioritizer, Problem Solver, Book Lover, Authenticity Expert, And Your Marriage Saver

I’m Beth.
Your Authenticity
[to keep it a Family] Coach.

You and your kids deserve a marriage that brings your light to life. That may seem far away right now, but I’m proof that it’s possible and in your power to create! Stop worrying about what your kids are learning from him and let’s figure out what they can learn from you, mama!